Friday, January 6, 2012

The Sleep Killer


Its been really long, since i’ve blogged..! Now that i’ve begun to find time.. i think, i might as well do something thats constructive! Hmmm, having said that.. i have started off my so-called “Constructive spending of time’ by blogging again.
I happened to read an article on how 80, 90 and 100 year old’s have taken to blogging, tweeting, FB’ing and so on.I was also a witness to the same on my train journey. I was travelling from Chennai to Coimbatore on a Morning train and my co-passenger happened to be this 86 yr old gentleman, who had this ‘SALT’ look! [When the usage of ‘SALT & PEPPER’ Look, has become the order of the day, why shouldn’t i start off with the new term ‘SALT’ looks! ] There was not even a single streak of Black on His head!! [Beauty salons, who does not do a great job in colouring should look at this gentleman’s head and understand the work of god! :)]. Alright, now getting back to the context… [I know, am useless when it comes to conveying something crisp]
I usually board the train, as soon as the train hits the platform.. Am an early bird u see! This gentleman, also, with all that brisk walk was trying to board the train with a luggage that is actually way too much to carry for his age!  The moment i got in, i helped him with his luggage and both of us, finally managed to settle down..! We instantly struck a chord and the conversation begun.. I was yapping on and on about myself, my parents, my bro’s kid.. and my life in chennai.. and so on.. Once i realised, that the man would soon go off into a deep slumber, i courteously asked his where-abouts too! [I know, what you guys’ve thought]. He started off by clearing his throat. He was a retired VP of some private bank, who had 3 sons and 2 daughters.. all married and settled in the US and UK (No wonder!!) and his wife had reached the Heavenly Abode. He stayed alone in the plush apartment of his at Alwarpet, with all the facilities (With Sons & daughters in the US and UK, what more can u expect?) and a maid at his peck and call, and also with a chauffeur driven vehicle. [Man.. that's Life!]. and after all this basic introduction about the family, the gentleman (let me name him X,am so bored of typing gentleman again and again) rather, Mr.X started talking about his fantasy for Cars. Gosh, the VP knew so much..!! I was amazed…when he was talking, i recieved a call from my friend (A perfect gadget freak)who wanted my opinion on whether he has to get a mobile now or not. I politely cut my friend off and told him that i would spk to him as soon as i reach home and began the conversation again with Mr.X. That was when i noticed that, Mr. X had taken out his Android Phone [Booo HOO.. i do not have one yet!  ] and was logged into his FB profile and was checking for updates..! He had also updated his status too “On my way to CBE..would be back in 2 days” :).. i heaved a sigh and looked out of the window.. thinking… Wow.. He has an android too..!! Life..sure does change…and my thoughts just raced past the mountains..! After a while, i realised that somebody was actually tapping my shoulder..i noticed that it was Mr.X, who was actually waking me up, coz the food had come. I opened the food tray attached to my seat.. and laid out a paper.. on which i asked the person to lay the tray down. I then realised that Mr.X had not got his food, and i was about to call the person, when Mr.X told me..”I dont eat this dear.. I have my lunch packed.”He pulled out his zip lock bag, out he took a Home-made veg burger, and some bread sticks.. and a bottle of Coke” I was like.. “Wow.. !! nOt bad at all..” He laid it out on his tray.. and then pulled out his tab, wore his glasses and navigated the screen without any difficulty and began watching MI3..! That was when i realised . “Wowy.. this man does know to enjoy life”..!
I then.. closed the food.. on the pretext that i wasnt hungry.. pulled my blankets up.. covered my face.. and went down into a deep thought.. This man embraced technology! He was living with it, enjoying it to the maximum extent possible…! He was connected to people throughout…His world was virtual… I wasn’t sure of the purpose of his visit to Coimbatore, but from the enthusiasm portrayed and from the telephone conversations.. he had made with his relatives.. am sure.. it was for a wedding. He was alone..leading a life just with his chauffer and his maid…but there wasn’t a slightest hint of loneliness on his attitude. He seemed to enjoy life… thanking nature for the every bit of help she has done to him..! Where was I? Got so many people around.. Lots of friends.. money to flaunt with… Health to enjoy life with… and a job to get myself occupied with.. Yet.. i am in a state of utter loneliness.. unsure as to what am doing ! I end up stressing myself, pressurising myself to an extent that.. it turns out to be pure cruelty when i express myself to others! [Self Realisation…  Tee hee..]Hmm.. He was 86 and am not even half his age.. but i realised that my hairs were almost like his..[Salt and Pepper look?? ]Why all this when my age which is actually bound to be enjoyed, learn new things, meet people and explore the world have to be wasted with stress.. which brings about nothing but a loss of charm and happiness in life? [Each time, i meet somebody like this.. i have this question in me..  but have i incorporated this into my life… Naaaaah..!!]
After this deep pondering, i decided to imbibe this into my daily routine..  [I really dont know.. for how long!].. We reached Coimbatore.. After waving each other a bye, i went down the stairs.. and met my dad [Who religiously picks me up from the station every time] and after all the courteous exchanges.. we started walking to the parking lot, and i started talking about Mr.X to him. I also, told him about my plan to LIVE LIFE with a lot of ZEAL [I did get a wierd look from him :P]. We drove back home, had a great lunch prepared by my Mommy dearest, yapped for a while and we decided to take a nap. I decided to check my mails, and then hit the rug for a good sleep..! [A grave mistake!! :)]. I swtiched on my Comp, After all notifications, warnings and disk checks, it booted to life and i logged on to my Office E-Mail.
There, i had got a Mail from my superior on my Appraisal Ratings..!! I opened the mail with a great deal of Enthusiasm [What Mr.X has transferred to me ]only to realise that the Enthusiasm which i showed to open the mail.. was no longer the same.. [:D].. It was on its way back.. to Mr.X at a top speed, waiting to hit him back!!
Where did all my ‘Self-Realisation’ go?? All gone.. deep down the drain..!  U think, i slept???

Friday, August 19, 2011

Sexual Abuse...We aren't free from it yet!!

Where are we? Any-day, be it the newspaper that comes home, or the e-paper which i read at work.. has the headline.. "3 yr old minor raped by 4 men", "Girl abducted,assaulted, raped , Killed and thrown out on streets" ...! Where is the nation heading to? Alright this,is a plain and a simple blog of a 28 yr old.. who is frustrated by these many number of female infanticides and sexual abuses happening across the nation! I do not have much of data to substantiate argument, but all i have with me is the frustration that happens to women across the nation...!

U might ask me, these have been happening for a long time.. where were u then? In the Andaman Nicobar islands.. catching butterflies? Right... U r right.. :) :D

I guess, I've started to realize the gross truth that women aren't safe anywhere, coz of certain silly personal experiences that happens to many in the public transport that one takes to commute to work.. (Dont ask me what they are? :D... that needs a separate blog.. and i prefer to hone my skill... by writing more)

Minor girls raped by their own fathers, girls kidnapped and raped and thrown out on streets... girls abducted and imprisoned and raped for years together! Why? What pleasure do people get out of these? There are revolutions happening to stop Corruption (Totally Sensible and i Support Hazare ji's movement whole heartedly), but cant revolutions and reforms be started for this, the Sexual Abuses? For example - There are women welfare organisations... especially the one that won the "CNN Hero 2011 - Anuradha Koirala". I salute her.

Lokayukta - for each State, Similarly... 'SthriYukta' - a women welfare organisation, for every state, headed by top influential women, preferably Women Doctors, Lawyers, Women Civil Services people, Women Bank Officials, and Women CEO's...!! I do not know, if i make sense, however, when we talk so much about Women Rights, Women Empowerment, and so on, i felt that this topic which is shunned by many coz of fear and shame, should be discussed, at least... thought about.

Why did i post this today all of a sudden? I was reading the paper, as always today.. and happened to see an article on a sexual abuse done to a Mentally Challenged Female for years together.. and that flared up my frustration!

I might not have succeeded in convincing many of you on what my thoughts are! But am at least hoping that, there might be many like me, who are willing to voice their opinion on this!! Comments Welcome... :)

Friday, April 15, 2011

Are we to remain poor the rest of our Lives?

It was a fine sunny Saturday morning, and i was reading a book about, India then and India now. The facts and figures were quite amazing. It spoke about Dr.Radhakrishnan's reforms, Motilal Nehru's Westernized life style with forks and spoons, Jawaharlal Nehru's motive of oneness in the society, Indhira Gandhi's attempt to make that happen, Rajiv Gandhi's trial on bringing about the same, Gandhian principles, Lord Mountbatten's Comments and so on. I kept reading it line after line, page after page, kept looking at pictures and the time just flew. It was during this relentless reading, that i found the line, "If we are born poor in India, we are bound to stay poor all our life, and it also indicates, that our children wouldn't fare either." I was quite surprised on reading that on an Indian best-seller, written by a well acclaimed author! (Certain things are better maintained when not disclosed!! :D)

I kept reading it, and found the author justifying his statement. For a nation to improve, it should shift into an open access society! This society ensures that neither political nor economic power is fixed or 'inherited'. This comes about, when people innovate and unleash their creativity! He also said that this kind of an environment creates social stability, as people are bound to change their income levels and status! But this wasn't the case with India, says the renowned author!

True? The 'Leaders' of our nation (alright... why go up to nation.. lets narrow it down to one state.. :D) The 'Leader' of a state in India, is too very busy safe guarding his own family and his family or 'ancestral' property, leaving the entire state in agony! They fail to relinquish their throne, and pave way for a much younger and a sensible crowd to rule the state.. let alone their heirs!

People who voice against this (At least those who try to) realize that their attempt is futile and become reticent, leaving the less fortunate to endure this to their utter dismay! The state of all the state-run Schools, the power supply department, the government organisations when you think of only gives you a nightmare. The people, who are mediocre or much better off than the less fortunate, shift their glance to the private schools, private suppliers, gated communities, or emigrate to another country in search of a better life! This leaves, the state uncorrected and this goes on for centuries, and this makes the poor remain poor all their life??

What was the bottom line of all this! 'Corruption' - Oh! The most dreaded word in today's world, the one against which Anna Hazare is fighting! I then started to think about the difficulties that it creates. We stand tirelessly in queues when registering for a service with a govt.org. We end up paying for a free service that a govt.org is entitled to provide. We are so very forced to an extent of not raising our voice against all this, lest we dont get our services done! We are forced to land up in a situation where in we cannot correct the present, as we dont have the power to do it. A mediocre or a rich family might have the afford-ability to get their services rendered, but what would the souls below the poverty line do? They end-up remaining poor?

Do we have an answer to this? Do we have the necessary support to voice our opinion against all this?

Does this mean that the poor are to remain poor all through their life?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Me, Mr. X and Politics!

I am back with a relatively different post this time...not amateurish like my previous posts!! Its about Me and the sudden attention to whats happening in India! I am not quite sure as to why i have this sudden surge of interest in politics, but then i do feel it good!

About me in politics, i am a big zero at it, but honestly and sincerely trying to update myself! Trust Me! Its just that, there was this best friend of mine (Lets name him Mr.X) who was talking to me one fine morning about the forthcoming elections (Or rather... the elections happening today). I cut him off short saying that, am not a politics person and his jargons means nothing to me and that am least bothered about the party which is going to rule. I believe that i was quite harsh with it, because, i did find Mr. X getting momentarily hurt! I did not realize that poor Mr.X was only trying to make me understand that its something thats interesting and that which has to be known by every Indian citizen, as we are liable to know who rules us and what reforms they establish! But then, too good that he was, he just made a simple statement after my 'persistent deliberate ignorance'. He told me, "Alright Sunitha.. Your call! I just wanted you to know what was happening in the nation.. that is all..." I was not quite happy that day after the conversation with Mr.X. Invariably i neglected the thought and carried on with my life with the same enthusiasm. [I know, i understand that i am useless... :)]

Two days back, Mr.X and me.. was having our routine conversation, about our life's daily updates and that was when... the 2011 elections crept back into the picture...! This time, there was no pressure at all, he was just talking about the pros and cons of the ruling and the opposition party...! There was this sudden spark in me to reply to him for every of his statement. But then, that was when i noticed that, i did not have a single point to make. I was not reticent, but then... i was forced to be! Why? It was because, i simply did not know the purpose of the State Assembly elections... did not know about the Parliament, Houses in the Parliament... President.... Prime Minister... terms at office.. reforms... and so on! [Gosh! I was indeed bad in civics.. at 10th grade in school :D]

Now this, created that needed spark in me. I realized that i had been a complete dunce and had not even tried to participate in any of these! I had conveniently shunned myself away from all these facts. [Thank god, that i know who the Indian President & Prime Minister are :D]. From that very second, i started following the news articles and the paper as to whats happening across India... TN elections... Campaigns.... The analysis as to which party is dominant... and so on.. [Not that i know the inside out of it.. but at least, i know a few parties contesting, the alliances to them and the leader of the party :D:P].

There, Mr.X and me.. had our daily conversation yesterday and lo.. i was at least able to nod my head and give him my side of views about the elections happening. Our conversation was on 49 O yesterday. [49 0 - I vote Nobody]. When we were talking on it, Mr.X as always educated me..! [He is known for it... :) and now.. am liking it] He asked me reason behind the ruling party promoting the concept of 49 O. I had no answer.. and i sincerely admitted it.. It was then, he gave me this interesting piece of insight.

"This ruling party promotes it, coz... the people who think on casting the 49 O are the literates [IT population, to be specific]. Now, if the literates, go about casting the 49 O, the support for the pre-dominant opposition would marginally come down.. and thus, the success is for the ruling party again!".

It was after this that i thought, that the piece of information was indeed something that needed to be thought over! Yes...! What strategy... It was indeed brilliant..!

After these many years, i feel that i have wasted my votes [Including the current one :( ]. I actually feel really bad about it. But then, from now on i have decided to do this responsible duty as a citizen.

I owe a lot to Mr. X, he was the one who induced this spark in me and educated me on the same. At least the next time, i would cast my vote for Mr.X who has been really instrumental for this change in me.

I hope all of you, reading this post have cast your votes and proved to be a responsible citizen! If not, please do it at the earliest :)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Am clueless!!

Alright, this one is to tell u guys that am clueless!! Absolutely clueless.. there has been a sudden fear on my career. Am i on the right track, right relationship, am i doing the right things, am i doing things right, what should be my path? What is my destiny? Hmmm.. am pretty clueless! But then, i do understand that i have to work on something! But what is that? Alright.. work towards my passion! But whats that? God.. am getting frustrated? I lost focus! Pretty... unsure of the direction that i have to chose in life!! Somehow, feeling messed up!

There are a couple of questions on my mind, but i somehow only keep piling up more questions than finding out the answers to them! Am i wasting too much of time? What should i do, to make my day more productive? How do i set my priorities? I guess to get an answer to all this.. i would first need to fix a goal..!! A short term one, rather!!

So, what would that be? It would be based on my interests!! So, whats that??? Ultimately, it all boils down to a question after a question!! I guess, if a draw a line, tracing all the requirements that i have [RTM, Requirement traceability matrix? :P Bah.. No!!.. Not here..:)]i might get transfixed on one??

Wondering why i wrote this? I guess, there might be many facing the same situation!! Probably.. if one of you would know how i could come out of this dilemma, let me know abt it.. would be great! :)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

What are we giving back?

Here i come again.. with a relatively smaller post this time! :) I would have to leave for work in another couple of mins... but i just thought that i could blog...before leaving!

It was just that.. i was driving down from work yesterday evening ... and was thinking abt the purpose of my living.. [Bah.. i do this often..:D] ... And suddenly it struck me..!! There was this question, that came up to my mind..! what have i given back to the society? There was a feel that started nagging me.. it said.. U have gained so much from this very society of yours.. but have u given anything in return? Why ave u not.. thought of doing something.. that gives u a lot of personal satisfaction at the same time... benefits one soul atleast???

I believe, most of you would have started to think to skip this blog of mine.. and go down to another page that's relatively interesting! :D Certain thoughts suddenly pop up and its difficult to erase them as well :D I've seriously began thinking as to what i should be doing productively once am back from work.. as, all that i do now is laze around and weekends are meant for shopping, eating, sleeping and lazing around..!

Yesterday, i did something productive.. i feel so happy about it....!! I called up an orphanage and found out if they require an english teacher for them, who is willing to spend few hours to teach the kids out there on weekends! :) Know what? They've asked me to come down this weekend..! :) Am happy that my new year would begin productively..!

Small things.. at times.. gives you so much of Joy!!

And yes... i've started to do something productive!! :) :)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Commitment, Responsibilities, Duties..!! What not?

Alright.. Now...What does my title mean? Commitment... Duties... Responsibilities..!! What has all these got to do?? I've been told by people that... if a principle is followed in life, if a life is led with commitment, if the duties are met and if all these are handled responsibly, then... Life turns out to be successful..!! Is this true? Do we gain lots.. if the life is handled this way...Principled.. Serious!!?? What is that all of you have to say for this?

Honestly speaking, i fall into the category of a principled person! I sketch out the activities on a daily basis and go by it dutifully... and yes,it does give me a personal satisfaction most of the times! But... then...off late... i have been feeling,if i've gained true happiness? The answer to this happens to be a big and a firm "NO!!"

When i look back into my life, 5 years down the line.... i started counting the days when i've been truly happy. It actually made me realize that, i haven't been happy..or rather haven't been attaining personal happiness! When i pondered over the fact, i felt that... i've been dutiful... committed ...and responsible... and have done things selflessly for many...but have never tried to do something for myself...!

Alright, lemme cut the crap..and get down to what i had wanted to blog..!! :)

Its such that, a principled life might fetch you true happiness, but at the same time.. the principled life.. should ideally fetch the true personal happiness as well...! Time for yourself is ideally the key to a good life! What have u dreamt of becoming? Where are u in that process? How long would it take for you to get to what you actually want? Are we really... thinking of these on a daily basis? Do we work towards it? Not many of us do it...! [Pardon me..in case I've offended any of you who is actually working on your passion...! :) ]

With all that I've seen for the past so many years, i would suggest that....if one realizes his/her passion and works towards it..with utmost... diligence... Personal Happiness comes to u... [Rather, u happen to get a peaceful sleep.. :)]

To give you guys a small example... I've always dreamt of writing, blogging and counseling people on how to approach life..!! Hmmm... that had been my passion as well..!! But then, did i do it? Nope! i was only procrastinating it...!I had not... given it a due thought... i did not even realize the fact that my words can comfort a person, until one fine day when my best buddy told me.. that he felt much relieved after speaking to me..!! It sounded nice.. and at the same time... lighted up my thought.. and yes... today here i am starting off with my passion... my blog.. after a long long time..!! and yes... it brought me so much of happiness.... personal happiness..... i feel that i am all set...into the groove...!!

When such a small action can bring in so much of joy to a person...imagine.. the amount of joy that one can attain....when one achieves his or her passion...hmmm..am sure..you might think of this now... [Infact many of you might consider this to be pure crap... but then....this might help you in working better towards it....]

who knows? anything can happen..!!